Monday, December 22, 2008

Stupid Lazy Boy

Waking up in the morning to a full plate of breakfast right next you in bed must feel good. Does it make you feel complete? Knowing that you have your warmth of the shelter, the comfort of a meal, and the love of another that graciously prepares and delivers to you each day.

And you get dressed and go off to work. You kiss her goodbye and as you pull away from the drive with nothing but ordinary and as usual written on your face, she waves farewell.

She starts to pack her bags. First things first, the clothes, the shoes, the makeup, the boxed letters and poets she hid from you, the paintings she hung on the walls. The coffee maker, she'll need that at the very least. So she doesn't pick up after you today. She just packs and goes on her way.

She left without warning. Without even the slightest alarm. There is something in here moving her to run. She can't be settle in this world you want her in. A box with two bedrooms just in case. A nice kitchen and dinning room set. A beautiful couch and love seat and your stupid lazy boy.

And it defines you in more ways than one. You stupid, lazy boy. You don't realize what you have. You don't really understand all she has offered and all that has already been given to you. You stupid, lazy boy you have no hope in living. You just wait for the next day. You don't even appreciate your own breath. You stupid, lazy boy she was the only freedom you had.

Someday man will see that we have chosen all of this for ourselves. And on that day we will all pull into our over sized parking lots or garages with out heavy duty vehicles and we will shut and lock the doors as usual. We will enter the home like every other day. We will not feel her absence. But once we start looking around and feel nothing but emptiness we will then realize.

We will realize what we have given up for our stupid nine to fives. We will realize what knowledge, what wisdom we have truly sacrificed by our laziness of vehicles and televisions. We will realize our pride and our envy and that they are both in vain. We will realize our wrath immediately, here after and all we will want to do is cry. We will want to curl back into ourselves. Into the spirits that we are. But until we wake up from this pattern of living, this lifestyle of denial and spiritual blindness we will never see the face to true freedom.

Stupid Lazy Boy, you thought you had it all. You thought you knew it all.Stupid Lazy Boy, what does it feel like to come into conflict with yourself on such a level that it is rising like fire in your veins? Does it make you want to move? Does it make you want to argue? Does it make you want to write, to paint, to draw? Does it make you want to experience life for all it's beauty and all it's true. A beauty and truth recognizable by all humans?Does it make you want to deny me, freedom even more for fear that you have in fact been wrong in your existence all along?

I don't mean to cause frustration and I don't mean to cause angry.I don't mean to cause sadness and I don't mean to cause despair.But I certainly do not mean to cause apathy in thee.Oh Stupid Lazy Boy, you have power beyond your knowledge. Do you're best to wake up. There is a whole universe out there. Why don't you look around? Tell me what you really see!



"And the turtles, of course... All the turtles are free- As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be."
Dr. Seuss
"Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting."
E. E. Cummings
"The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."
Jack Kerouac



It's bonertime

am i stupid lazy boy. this blog sounds like me to a "T"
Posted by It's bonertime on December 26, 2008 - Friday - 1:44 AM

i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down

true...true
Posted by i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down on January 3, 2009 - Saturday - 5:38 PM

WAR SEX VIDEO

The Jack Kerouac quote is really inspiring.

Posted by WAR SEX VIDEO on January 5, 2009 - Monday - 8:18 AM

Saturday, December 20, 2008

You Just Seem To Stay

Sometimes I imagine myself several miles from here.
Alone in an empty old hotel room.
Cold, smoking every cigarette I see.
Feeling the burn of the smoke deep down in my throat,
and taking notes about about the day before,
and then you walk in,
standing in the doorway with a sharp look on your face,
dressed in such a way it makes me feel lonely,
like I drifted too far from home but I always be away.

And you say the one thing I never wanted to hear you say.
Touch me again, babe, just like we used to.
And I don't want any of that
but I don't know what else to do
so I go about and do it anyway
knowing full and well
I'm only gonna hurt myself.
And I'm defying my very identity
but it's hard when aren't even completely sure
who you really are.

I look to you and feel the same pain again
waiting for you to walk away
but you just seem to stay
yeah you aren't like you used to be
you just seem to stay.

I start to fold my hands over the rest of my body.
Rocking around like a baby
singing under my breath
so you can barely make the words.
And I can hardly hear them myself at times
but it satisfies me nonetheless.

You just sit there staring, like there is nothing else to do
no choices to make, you just sit, you just stare.
And I'm getting even lonelier with your presence.
And all I really want is for you to go away.
But you're not like you used to be.
you just seem to stay.

And a pain starts growing in me
Like you're gonna stick around
and there's nothing I can do to stop this
and I can't bare the thought of walking out now
in the hotel room I know so well.
But I feel you've left me no choice.
I gotta find a way out.
Cause you're not like you used to be.
you just seem to stay.




i wear the black for the poor
and the beaten down

there you go. say what you feel.
Posted by i wear the black for the poor
and the beaten down on
December 20, 2008 - Saturday - 6:14 PM

You'll Follow Me

I can identify
with all the air you breath tonight
because half of it is mine
look at me and look at yourself
there is nothing here going well
I think I have to run to get any ground
and you put me on a mountain top
and in such a small corner
I feel so cramped and I cannot get off
I don't know where to go
I wish I had some place to be
but I'm running out of time
If I don't find a new attitude
this might be my future too
but if I run away
I get the feeling that it won;t just be me
I think you'll follow me
we've shared too much about ourselves
I can't perceive you any other way
and if it hurts to hear these words
well I have nothing else to say
cause every time I look at you
I see a real good friend
but I could never wander back again
and in my mind we never had
to any of that
but I guess I would not be me
now just looking back
and oh I say dear have I changed
and all you can say is yes
but you have no idea babe
you have no idea
there is nothing here going well
I think I have to run to get any ground
and you put me on a mountain top
and in such a small corner
I feel so cramped and I cannot get off
I don't know where to go
I wish I had some place to be
but I'm running out of time
If I don't find a new attitude
this might be my future too
but if I run away
I get the feeling that it won't just be me
I think you'll follow me
yeah oh my dear you'd follow me.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Absent Man

In my room, even at it's emptiest there is still clutter.
Something so tangible and yet this is just an idea.
For a mind is a place to sleep these days.
Some days babe, I dream while I speak.
But I catch every word you're throwing my way.

Lately, I've been feeling a rattling within me.
Stirring me in my deepest of slumbers.
I wake up. Shiver. Write this down.
Remember my demons.
Remember that you adore them.

I can close my eyes and picture your face.
Your eyes so full of intrigue.
So shiny and bold.
I can recall your hands, so warm.
Your lips so anticipatory.
I can imagine the words we will say,
the things we will do.

None of my troubles subside
but they fall to the sides of my face.
And I am left contemplating,
What shall I do with this mess

Soon I realize that the only solid ground I have is you.
You are so structured in the strangest of ways.
I put trust in you that I could never offer up to others.
I lose so many masks, so many doubts, and fears
when you are here, when you are near.

But the absent man is lost
in a mind so clouded like mine.
Clearly babe.
And I fall back to sleep.




i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down

that first line just says a million billion things. i love you rocket girl, you always amaze me.
Posted by i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down on December 14, 2008 - Sunday - 12:30 AM

Monday, August 27, 2007

My Fatality -Aug 27, 2007

At first Glance I am transparent
you can see right through me

But as you unwrap this letter
this last testament of my regret

I spill unto the floor
never to be removed

I'm the stain that won't leave
I'm the tear that you can't keep
inside of you and bottled up

its in this instance
its in this moment

I let myself go
Surrender to my own confusions
Surrender to my own lust

Without a look of loneliness
I never would have lost
No No

No I never would have lost this

Without a look of anticipation
I never would have found
No No


No I never would have found this

in splendor I taste such a sweet disgrace,
you've opened me indefinitely
and now I can't be closed

No Now I can not be closed.




♥The Notorious L.I.G♥

I'm glad I am first to comment on this wonderful poem. I can really relate to this. I have to say pal your quite the poet. Keep em coming I know you have one loyal fan right here. good job

Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on December 10, 2005

Saturday - 8:25 PM


t-wal

Nice poem. Poetry is the shit. Unfortuneately for me, i can't write serious poetry i dont think, just funny useless stuff. So good job.

Posted by t-wal on December 14, 2005

Wednesday - 9:32 PM


♥The Notorious L.I.G♥

repost this for a reason?

Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on August 29, 2007

Wednesday - 1:54 PM

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Touch Me and Then Just Use Me Until I Get My Satisfaction!

So you awake to a dream come true
The atmosphere and mood all around, you can tell you life has completely turned from a negative to a positive. Everything is in order, you life is well... perfect, everything is right. What's next. What does a man do when he gets all he has ever desired. Does he die? Is it actually possible for a human being to be totally and utterly satisfied?
I am wondering that as I stare at the empty piece of paper right underneath my hand. This particular hand of mine is now gripping tightly to a pen awaiting the first touch of the ink to the white canvas. This is where my mind starts to wonder.....
Sometimes I absolutely adore a blank piece of paper-that the times when you know what you want to fill it with. Then there are times when I wholeheartedly despise a piece of blank paper. It sits there and you keep thinking thinking thinking what should I write about, what should I draw, what is my collage's theme? What thoughts cross my mind while I wonder it is needless to say I wish things were back to the good old days. Every other weekend is torture how do I awake to bare more.
Christmas is coming I kept thinking. Later that night I wept at the future how can I worry when nothing is ever promised tomorrow today? Why must I dramatize everything it is just inevitable. I am the Blogger! Oh man that brings both laughter and sadness "blogger". Pain and Joy are they two that should be mixed? Is curiosity and discover a cocktail I wish to make? Some people worry about what others think, I'd much rather worry what I was thinking. How very pointless this blog seems to me but yet I am still typing out redundancies. When I say redundant my mind automatically shifts me over to Courtney's room where I will see her cd player and inside lay Greenday, one of my worst enemies. Greenday sings of redundancy and "a walking contradiction" that quote removes me from that room into the Living room where my mother tells me that I am a walking contradiction, such a strange thing to say when it happened I must have laughed. Laughter is a lot of fun and if you haven't laughed well now would most definitely be the time to start. For instance say I was sitting next to you right now what sorts of thoughts would be on your mind? If you haven't laughed yet then think of something that might cause a giggle a chuckle or two. Two rhymes with shoe. Shoes are so much fun to wear and to shop for, I have so many shoes but I always want more its like I can't ever be satisfied with the number of shoes I have or what types of shoes I have. Not being satisfied reminds me of life and my question which was, "Is it actually possible for a human being to be totally and utterly satisfied?". Well after writing out this what at first seemed to be completely ridiculous blog entry I realize that for me as a human being I haven't found satisfaction in shoes nor in life. Though if you laugh a lot you can come very close to total satisfaction. In the meantime focus on what makes you happy and go where the wind takes you, travel light. Life is short and something not to spend away. Wow! I wonder if anyone actually took the time to read this?? If you did HIGH FIVE MAN GOOD FOR YOU, good for you good for you. Anyway have a glorious day.
-Alexis



Skinny Black

i would say the only way a person could be satisfied is if they had no desires, is only because we are men(people) that we want, and we want because we are men. it is impossible for a man not to want (exept with god.. eclesiasties) so it's imposilbe to be completely satisfied. maybe..

Posted by Skinny Black on December 18, 2005

Sunday - 6:54 PM


♥The Notorious L.I.G♥

You utterly amazing but, you should be happy find somthing that makes you happy. Do you have anything that makes you happy. I know hanging with Cricket brings you joy. If there's more than that find it and use it. Devote time into it. Good luck my friend

Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on December 18, 2005

Sunday - 11:22 PM

Friday, December 16, 2005

Telling Time Tina and The Cell Phone Snatch

It was a nice windy Wednesday. A day that Telling Time Tina and Pretty Planning Patty were hoping to go to church. As usual Telling Time Tina had used her cell phone to call her mother to find out if it was okay if she went home with Pretty Planning Patty. They stood in the hall while other students filed out of the school. As Telling Time Tina closed her cell phone she revealed to Pretty Planning Patty that her mother had told her no, she could not go home with her. Pretty Planning Patty was instantly sad. Then right out of no where came Mrs. Lossoftime the principle. She looked at Pretty Planning Patty. "Excuse me, she said who is that that was on the phone? Just as Pretty Planning Patty was about to answer Mrs. Lossoftime turned away from Pretty Planning Patty and was now asking Telling Time Tina what she was thinking using a cell phone during school. The look on both Pretty Planning Patty's and Telling Time Tina's faces were excellent. Mrs. Lossoftime made Telling Time Tina give up her cell phone. Mrs. Lossoftime explained "We don't use cell phones in school, if you want to come to my office at the end of the day and get your cell phone that will be fine." At that moment Telling Time Tina blurted out to Mrs. Lossoftime that it was after school right now, three, zero something to be exact. Mrs.Lossoftime gave the cell phone back and apologized saying that she didn't realize the time. We all know that that could not have been expected of her as her name stated, she had loss time. Our hero Telling Time Tina was rewarded with the return of her cell phone and all justice was served, in the School of the People With Purpose.



♥The Notorious L.I.G♥

That great I love the names lol. So If you made stories about people their names would be changed. What would my name be? Reading this I really did Laugh out loud. keep the stories coming maybe I will find my name in one.

Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on December 17, 2005

Saturday - 11:28 AM


alexisbea

I know I think that the same letters at the beginning of the names was fab. We have quite an exciting life when I tell it in story form like that lol.

Posted by alexisbea on December 21, 2005

Wednesday - 8:45 PM

Sign Here

I'm hurting again today
and its difficult to say
what will be my antidote
Its like I travel in circles
sometimes thinking
I've got the solution
but so suddenly, I do find
I'm lost, so very lost
so utterly exposed to everyone
I can't leave what I've started behind
Why do you follow me?
I'm the shadow of doubt
Why do you follow me?
I'm hurting again today
and its difficult to say
what will be my antidote
so utterly exposed to everyone
I can't leave what I've started behind
Why do you follow me?
I'm the shadow of doubt
Why do you follow me?




*~Christine~*

i'm so very sry u hurt

Posted by *~Christine~* on December 16, 2005 - Friday - 11:43 PM


♥The Notorious L.I.G♥

I like it I wish I was a great writer. If ya ask me " I'd say I follow you cause your hott" I guess O well thats just me.

Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on December 17, 2005 - Saturday - 11:23 AM