To Burn Again

I want you to imagine your biggest and boldest dream.

What does it involve? Is it happiness, love, truth?

Is it wealth? Is it driven by passion or compassion.

Or both? Are you looking towards a field alone

or is someone holding your hand?

I want to know where you see yourself in five years.

Are you here, still? Are you empty, still?

Will you forget bad language and bad habits

and replace them with shine and wax

or will you replace them with a person and a place?

Will you be loved or in love?

There is always something to dream.

No matter how close you are to living or dying,

You will absolutely and always desire and dream.

And I want to know what is.

What are you dreaming about today?

Will it change tomorrow?

I just want to know what you desire with everyday

as it begins and as it breaks

what is your first thought?

I miss being so close to someone

that I never had fears of any words I could speak

I miss being so close to someone

that there was listening from both ends

largely physical and emotional

but majority of it was a simple truth

and we shared it.

I just miss the relax and the exhilaration

of having another person around

that touches the same desires.

there is nothing like the burn

between two souls

so hot to touch

so comforting, in its warmth

and this is my desire.

To burn again.

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	LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR	that was very intense rocket girl. your smile is the sun, and it makes me shine. Posted by LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR on February 11, 2009 Wednesday - 8:52 PM

alexisbea

you are loverly davey. I miss you. I wish you weren't so far from me. Posted by alexisbea on February 11, 2009 Wednesday - 8:57 PM

Things Change

I've gone through storms and I've walked through sunshine with you. But more often than not you turned on me. You'd just walk away. You told me to fend for myself. Find my own way home. And after years and years of pressure from the weight of the rain, the sleet, and snow, I start to regress. I start to need someone or something to feel complete. I start to feel like if forgiveness is in pictures and movies than I could easily mix up my own version. Something in my head. To make things more constructed and more worthwhile. So I wait. I wait for you to contact me. You do. It's like it always is. I let all the pain leave my body. I just know that I had and what I now have. I look at the present and do my best to forget the past.
So we start walking again. Walking and talking like two people should. Talking like friends and cheering each other on like fans. But then your eyes turn like twisters and you start holding me up. You start twisting your words and telling me this means that and that means this. And I start to doubt myself because you tell me what is true and what is false. So as far back as I can remember I've wanted to walk around with someone to trust. So I remember that and I remember the best of times and I forget that you mixed the meanings and I continue to walk through heavy storms and light sunshine with you. All hoping that I'm helping you and you are helping me. All believing that somehow we've discovered something true and something other's would easily be jealous of. I feel a truth between me and you. I often think about the level of honesty we had for each other. I often think about all I've said and all the truths that I expressed. And in many ways these thoughts make me shutter now. You would be telling everyone everything because you don't hold truth like I do. You don't hold secrets in your veins. If things go wrong you change tides. You turn into a monster and expect me to react like usual. Then you tell everyone else that I am the monster. Well we could both be monsters, were both human. But I know the biggest weight of this is within me. Cause I kept letting it grown. One day I see your eyes have remained like twisters for weeks. I start to fear your eyes. Then I start to fear you. One day you blow up. You rock back and forth like a chair and shout like I've done something wrong. I think of parents and children and remember the pain inside that I had so easily released. I was so hoping this would never happen again. I thought it was truth that we had. And I realize what I should have know from the beginning. Within the words of others. Stated by you. You never cared. You only wanted. So deep. But so wrong. So crooked. I could never walk with you through storms. I could never walk with you through even the brightest of sunshine again. And from all of this I have learned not only from you but within all the others. I have learned. There is truth you seek and truth that finds you. The truth that finds you is what you need and the truth you seeks was never real. Was never pure to start. So for all of you with thoughts tonight; full, impure, and burning, I must say forget them. Unleash yourself to the world. Because if you know who YOU are then that is all that matters. No thoughts tonight, so surrounded by the words of others. Remember only you will be judged for you and you alone. People are creatures of habit and desirous of everything. We all want so form of communication. So do your walking and it will find you. What is supposed to happen will fall into place. There is nothing so important yesterday that you must contemplate it today or tomorrow. The past is behind you and the future is yet to come. So breath in, breath out, and live for today, because no one will give you the punishment or the pleasure you truly deserve the instant you deserve it.

"so be cool, and believe, in the things you haven't learned
because you've lost and its gone but it will return.
now it's all laid out in front of you
and thats half murdered the mystery.
are you still too shy, to describe?
now the whole world is waking up,
a ribbon cut for the opening.
yes, finally the day has arrived.
so seek and rejoice, fill your hands with something tangible
and fly, your own love like a flag.
it's joy, the desire for that which is impossible, and accept what you get with a smile."
-bright eyes

[play]------+

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i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down

this comment box was very hard to find. this blog made my day rainy. sometimes i need a rainy day. thanks. love. davey. Posted by i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down on February 4, 2009 - Wednesday - 8:54 PM

Sleep

sleep

when I'm with you

you are all I want

and I could lye

in these dreams

and believe

in these sheets

forever

always

when I'm without you

I cannot focus

The world is blurry

I forget I am alive

I become death

in it's earliest sense

sleep

when I'm with you

I could breath in words

and I could read the wind

cause I had something going

with the direction of these days

but I am easily buried

in linens and I toss

and I turn trying to find my own

sleep

lately, I cannot hear you

lately, I cannot feel you

lately, I forget you

and I am growing tired

all the while

but if I lose myself

in this image

of cotton and silk

I'd at least know

just once

how it feels

to sleep

Apples

young wonder and fresh crisp dreams

covered up lightly with a blanket
keep them safe
keep them sound
keep them always
keep them around
but don't build on this
do not build on dreams like foundations
no structure can it hold
no existence can it contain
for dreams are not foundations
but dreams are clay
dreams are brought up from the ground
and made and molded to be
dreams are sparkling and vibrant
there is nothing like letting go
but there is nothing more powerful
than to release a dream
releasing a dream into reality
true strength and true passion
demonstrates itself
as your dream becomes a whole body
all your positives are embodied tightly
in the nitch that you can stitch
but remember this
if you insist on forgetting the rest
you cannot create by just dreaming
but you can dream to create
and that is the golden apple
that is the tastiest fruit
we can eat
the fruit of creativity
eat it, plant it, cultivate it
make it your own
young wonder and fresh crisp dreams
are like the gunshots fired
before a race you must run
but remember to run it
run, run, run
with all you have.

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i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down

yes rocket girl. run run run! Posted by i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down on January 23, 2009 - Friday - 11:07 PM

I Am

I am not someone more than others. I am not someone less than others. I am not with I am not without I am just a being that's what I'm about. I am not circumstantial I am not a situation I am not someone to deal with I am not someone to deal out I am just a being that's what I'm about. I am not too young I am not too old I am not too small I am not too large what I am is just right Just right for my body and just right for the space that I take and just right for the air that I breath I am not too anything I am not too nothing I am just a being yeah, that's what I'm about. Existing within Existing without whatever you could think of me now think twice perhaps three times for I am even lesser for I am even more than thoughts produce I am I am not the best I am not the worst I am not the average the last or the first I am not the middle I am not the in between I am separate delicate I am me.

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♥Pikachu♥	You're really good at poetry! Posted by ♥Pikachu♥ on January 5, 2009 - Monday - 12:03 AM

	♫ Drop Beats,Not Bombs ♪♪	I really love this. Posted by ♫ Drop Beats,Not Bombs ♪♪ on January 5, 2009 - Monday - 12:06 AM

	alexisbea	thanks guys :D Posted by alexisbea on January 5, 2009 - Monday - 12:14 AM

	i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down	"i am not rocket girl...oops yes i am." this was my favorite line from that blog. just kidding, that was great and i loved it and i love you. Posted by i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down on January 5, 2009 - Monday - 12:29 AM

Ashley Mayhem™

I love this, it rolled right off my tongue. Posted by Ashley Mayhem™ on January 5, 2009 - Monday - 5:42 PM

Only Fools

There are moments and theses are more often than not, that I feel confident in the fact that I am empty. Confident and comfortable. There are moments and these are few are far between, and I feel I want something solid, strong, someone. Confident and comfortable. But a breeze of wind blows these thoughts away. I can wither and I will. I will wither away. I'm serious when I say that is scares me with everything inside to think that it would be could be should be but I'd hold back, I'd never let it be. I'm working on feeling. I'm working on holding. I'm hoping for a feeling I'm hoping for a hand to hold. Something bold. Something you can't put words too but only melody will do. But I shake and I shutter at the thought of an ending which is really just a beginning but it is a door I'm afraid to open. And a window I am afraid to close. It's like I want to step out because I've done my best looking and I want to touch what I look at but window shopping is easy yes, window shopping is safe. I could pay off my debts on a rainy day. I could pay off my debts today, if I only knew with whom they were really owed. And so I will sleep with grins and smirks cause I'm a jerk. I'm a fool quite simply. To offer nothing and everything all at the very same time. Yes, I am a fool quite simply. But only you really know. And I regret it sometimes that I've showed you. But even more so I am glad I know you. I am glad you understand. And there is something steady and reliable in your voice something calming in your choice of words and touch and such and such I'm rhyming if not just to pass the time. So long. It's been nice. Sleep with grins and smirks cause we're all just jerks...waiting for some new sunrise. There are moments and theses are more often than not, that I feel confident in the fact that I am empty. Confident and comfortable. There are moments and these are few are far between, and I feel I want something solid, strong, someone. Confident and comfortable. And so I will sleep with grins and smirks cause I'm a jerk. I'm a fool quite simply. To offer nothing and everything all at the very same time. Yes, I am a fool quite simply.

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i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down

that's super good rocket girl. very cutting, but still beautiful. Posted by i wear the black for the poor and the beaten down on January 3, 2009 - Saturday - 5:58 PM

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You Just Seem To Stay

Sometimes I imagine myself several miles from here.
Alone in an empty old hotel room.
Cold, smoking every cigarette I see.
Feeling the burn of the smoke deep down in my throat,
and taking notes about about the day before,
and then you walk in,
standing in the doorway with a sharp look on your face,
dressed in such a way it makes me feel lonely,
like I drifted too far from home but I always be away.

And you say the one thing I never wanted to hear you say.
Touch me again, babe, just like we used to.
And I don't want any of that
but I don't know what else to do
so I go about and do it anyway
knowing full and well
I'm only gonna hurt myself.
And I'm defying my very identity
but it's hard when aren't even completely sure
who you really are.

I look to you and feel the same pain again
waiting for you to walk away
but you just seem to stay
yeah you aren't like you used to be
you just seem to stay.

I start to fold my hands over the rest of my body.
Rocking around like a baby
singing under my breath
so you can barely make the words.
And I can hardly hear them myself at times
but it satisfies me nonetheless.

You just sit there staring, like there is nothing else to do
no choices to make, you just sit, you just stare.
And I'm getting even lonelier with your presence.
And all I really want is for you to go away.
But you're not like you used to be.
you just seem to stay.

And a pain starts growing in me
Like you're gonna stick around
and there's nothing I can do to stop this
and I can't bare the thought of walking out now
in the hotel room I know so well.
But I feel you've left me no choice.
I gotta find a way out.
Cause you're not like you used to be.
you just seem to stay.

---

i wear the black for the poor
and the beaten down

there you go. say what you feel.

Posted by i wear the black for the poor
and the beaten down on
December 20, 2008 - Saturday - 6:14 PM

My Fatality -Aug 27, 2007

At first Glance I am transparent
you can see right through me

But as you unwrap this letter
this last testament of my regret

I spill unto the floor
never to be removed

I'm the stain that won't leave
I'm the tear that you can't keep
inside of you and bottled up

its in this instance
its in this moment

I let myself go
Surrender to my own confusions
Surrender to my own lust

Without a look of loneliness
I never would have lost
No No

No I never would have lost this

Without a look of anticipation
I never would have found
No No

No I never would have found this

in splendor I taste such a sweet disgrace,
you've opened me indefinitely
and now I can't be closed
No Now I can not be closed.

---

	♥The Notorious L.I.G♥	I'm glad I am first to comment on this wonderful poem. I can really relate to this. I have to say pal your quite the poet. Keep em coming I know you have one loyal fan right here. good job Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on December 10, 2005 Saturday - 8:25 PM

	t-wal	Nice poem. Poetry is the shit. Unfortuneately for me, i can't write serious poetry i dont think, just funny useless stuff. So good job. Posted by t-wal on December 14, 2005 Wednesday - 9:32 PM

♥The Notorious L.I.G♥

repost this for a reason? Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on August 29, 2007 Wednesday - 1:54 PM

Touch Me and Then Just Use Me Until I Get My Satisfaction!

So you awake to a dream come true
The atmosphere and mood all around, you can tell you life has completely turned from a negative to a positive. Everything is in order, you life is well... perfect, everything is right. What's next. What does a man do when he gets all he has ever desired. Does he die? Is it actually possible for a human being to be totally and utterly satisfied?
I am wondering that as I stare at the empty piece of paper right underneath my hand. This particular hand of mine is now gripping tightly to a pen awaiting the first touch of the ink to the white canvas. This is where my mind starts to wonder.....
Sometimes I absolutely adore a blank piece of paper-that the times when you know what you want to fill it with. Then there are times when I wholeheartedly despise a piece of blank paper. It sits there and you keep thinking thinking thinking what should I write about, what should I draw, what is my collage's theme? What thoughts cross my mind while I wonder it is needless to say I wish things were back to the good old days. Every other weekend is torture how do I awake to bare more.
Christmas is coming I kept thinking. Later that night I wept at the future how can I worry when nothing is ever promised tomorrow today? Why must I dramatize everything it is just inevitable. I am the Blogger! Oh man that brings both laughter and sadness "blogger". Pain and Joy are they two that should be mixed? Is curiosity and discover a cocktail I wish to make? Some people worry about what others think, I'd much rather worry what I was thinking. How very pointless this blog seems to me but yet I am still typing out redundancies. When I say redundant my mind automatically shifts me over to Courtney's room where I will see her cd player and inside lay Greenday, one of my worst enemies. Greenday sings of redundancy and "a walking contradiction" that quote removes me from that room into the Living room where my mother tells me that I am a walking contradiction, such a strange thing to say when it happened I must have laughed. Laughter is a lot of fun and if you haven't laughed well now would most definitely be the time to start. For instance say I was sitting next to you right now what sorts of thoughts would be on your mind? If you haven't laughed yet then think of something that might cause a giggle a chuckle or two. Two rhymes with shoe. Shoes are so much fun to wear and to shop for, I have so many shoes but I always want more its like I can't ever be satisfied with the number of shoes I have or what types of shoes I have. Not being satisfied reminds me of life and my question which was, "Is it actually possible for a human being to be totally and utterly satisfied?". Well after writing out this what at first seemed to be completely ridiculous blog entry I realize that for me as a human being I haven't found satisfaction in shoes nor in life. Though if you laugh a lot you can come very close to total satisfaction. In the meantime focus on what makes you happy and go where the wind takes you, travel light. Life is short and something not to spend away. Wow! I wonder if anyone actually took the time to read this?? If you did HIGH FIVE MAN GOOD FOR YOU, good for you good for you. Anyway have a glorious day.
-Alexis

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	Skinny Black	i would say the only way a person could be satisfied is if they had no desires, is only because we are men(people) that we want, and we want because we are men. it is impossible for a man not to want (exept with god.. eclesiasties) so it's imposilbe to be completely satisfied. maybe.. Posted by Skinny Black on December 18, 2005 Sunday - 6:54 PM

♥The Notorious L.I.G♥

You utterly amazing but, you should be happy find somthing that makes you happy. Do you have anything that makes you happy. I know hanging with Cricket brings you joy. If there's more than that find it and use it. Devote time into it. Good luck my friend Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on December 18, 2005 Sunday - 11:22 PM

Telling Time Tina and The Cell Phone Snatch

It was a nice windy Wednesday. A day that Telling Time Tina and Pretty Planning Patty were hoping to go to church. As usual Telling Time Tina had used her cell phone to call her mother to find out if it was okay if she went home with Pretty Planning Patty. They stood in the hall while other students filed out of the school. As Telling Time Tina closed her cell phone she revealed to Pretty Planning Patty that her mother had told her no, she could not go home with her. Pretty Planning Patty was instantly sad. Then right out of no where came Mrs. Lossoftime the principle. She looked at Pretty Planning Patty. "Excuse me, she said who is that that was on the phone? Just as Pretty Planning Patty was about to answer Mrs. Lossoftime turned away from Pretty Planning Patty and was now asking Telling Time Tina what she was thinking using a cell phone during school. The look on both Pretty Planning Patty's and Telling Time Tina's faces were excellent. Mrs. Lossoftime made Telling Time Tina give up her cell phone. Mrs. Lossoftime explained "We don't use cell phones in school, if you want to come to my office at the end of the day and get your cell phone that will be fine." At that moment Telling Time Tina blurted out to Mrs. Lossoftime that it was after school right now, three, zero something to be exact. Mrs.Lossoftime gave the cell phone back and apologized saying that she didn't realize the time. We all know that that could not have been expected of her as her name stated, she had loss time. Our hero Telling Time Tina was rewarded with the return of her cell phone and all justice was served, in the School of the People With Purpose.

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♥The Notorious L.I.G♥	That great I love the names lol. So If you made stories about people their names would be changed. What would my name be? Reading this I really did Laugh out loud. keep the stories coming maybe I will find my name in one. Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on December 17, 2005 Saturday - 11:28 AM

alexisbea

I know I think that the same letters at the beginning of the names was fab. We have quite an exciting life when I tell it in story form like that lol. Posted by alexisbea on December 21, 2005 Wednesday - 8:45 PM

Sign Here

I'm hurting again today
and its difficult to say
what will be my antidote
Its like I travel in circles
sometimes thinking
I've got the solution
but so suddenly, I do find
I'm lost, so very lost
so utterly exposed to everyone
I can't leave what I've started behind
Why do you follow me?
I'm the shadow of doubt
Why do you follow me?
I'm hurting again today
and its difficult to say
what will be my antidote
so utterly exposed to everyone
I can't leave what I've started behind
Why do you follow me?
I'm the shadow of doubt
Why do you follow me?

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	*~Christine~*	i'm so very sry u hurt Posted by *~Christine~* on December 16, 2005 - Friday - 11:43 PM

♥The Notorious L.I.G♥

I like it I wish I was a great writer. If ya ask me " I'd say I follow you cause your hott" I guess O well thats just me. Posted by ♥The Notorious L.I.G♥ on December 17, 2005 - Saturday - 11:23 AM