Remember when imaginary friends and tea parties were the highlights of your evenings?
Remember when you played tag and hide and go seek all day until it got dark outside, then you would run around the yard trying to catch lightening bugs.?
Remember when you would run off in the woods when things seems unsettling and you would pretend you were trying to survive on your own out in the wilderness?
Remember when you would take your journal out in the back yard and write because you were hurt and confused to be around anyone else?
Remember when you used to spend hours upon hours on the trampoline and you would make up all kinds of silly games to make it more interesting?
Remember when you used to play dress up and house and barbies and beauty pageant?
Remember when you used to go inside the dog houses?
Remember when you used to be fearless?
When you could do or say anything without a second thought?
Remember that feeling of absolute contentment?
That feeling of true freedom? That feeling of magnificent power that you held in your tiny body and shared with all you met?
Remember when you didn't have to ask yourself what to do and you already knew?
And there was no need to ask for anything because your mind was all you really needed.
It's a difficult task my friend. To remember yourself as you were. Contemplating the conversations that would go on between the child in me and the adult. I don't really know what my thoughts are on myself these days. I'm too confused about the entirety of the world to keep all my attention on myself. I do know that I want to feel comfort, compassion, and contentment, much deeper than I do now. I feel most of it is my own fault. I push a lot of good out and have let a lot of bad in. I wish there was a physical time line in which I could reference to which point in my life I made decisions to morph. It is so gradual though the changes we induce that we could perhaps never recognize when and where it was taking place at all. C'est la vie!
"Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards"
-Soren Kierkegaard (My Favorite Philosopher)
|JUST DAVEY |
| Alexis |