Sunday, June 7, 2009

Rarely, Sometimes, Always

Sometimes seems to be the best expression in regards to occurrences in life.
Life is so very unpredictable but it has it's moments of complete repetitiveness.
And it seems almost preposterous to say always.
And it seems almost a shame to have to use the word rarely.
So sometimes suites me and my life well.

Sometimes life can seem too good. I can say this without caution. Most of the reason behind that is how bittersweet life is and how there can be an excess of either polarities. Life can seem too bad just as well. The answer (and I am debating over whether or not I feel sure enough to use the word 'always') lyes within the in between.

The sometimes is the in between. I believe a large part of understanding life requires experience of both polarities. Good and bad as well as that which is neither. The in between is when a person is still. Think of this sometimes as your position, as neither positive nor negative but neutral. In this neutral, sometimes, occasional position you are allowed to reflect on the good and the bad that is happening both around you and within you. And I have come to believe that in this sometimes we start to realize the use of the word 'too' in regards with the duality of our existence.

One is often said to be 'too' much this and 'not enough' that. To have too much can produce just as much of an adverse effect as having too little. I believe where we are meant to be, naturally, and what seems to be most correct, is somewhere in the middle. We are meant to remain not in the state of sometimes but to take from both polarities that each has different pros and cons and that moderation is the true key to life.

I believe humans have no rules but with what they have chosen to hold themselves down or up with. You have nothing to fear. You having nothing stopping you from achieving your greatest dream or realizing your worst nightmare. Truly! Nothing stops a person except for that very person. We are truly in control of every aspect of ourselves. Whatever it is we choose to perceive is precisely what we see. Isn't that just completely magical!

Take all of this in as if you have breathed in something fresh and anew, I would like to add a little story with regard to my own life. I present it to you as follows. As it happened; rarely, sometimes, and always!

In my life, I do a lot of seeking. I seek what I need and what I want and from that I tend to seek what others need and want. Most of the time I seek to help others prior to helping myself. Rarely do I put myself ahead of others. But sometimes I do. And always without a doubt I am always learning and growing. In someway or another I am evolving and adapting. And this always thing is what I am most contented with for if it wasn't for my insentient desire to learn and achieve and become more I would be a complete loss. But I am not because you cannot live a life without learning and growing or evolving and adapting because if you do, you will surly die. For what cause do you live?

And as for my original intentions to this blog I must abandon them and go on a bit about what has just occurred. I was writing this blog when I got a phone call from my very best friend in the world. His name is David. He is pretty freaking awesome. He makes me quite happy.

While on the phone we discussed a few interesting topics and strangely enough several of them actually related to the prior content of this very blog. We both posed questions that dealt with an issue with which we were both attempting to tackle.

The issue and the question all in one is; 'when to draw the line between yourself and everyone else' as well as 'what is humans true and natural state and is it at all possible to return to that state? Is it a desired state or something to grow away from?

It was also posed by a friend of mine today that "the trick to life is the leave the world the way it is, not change it." I know this must be in regards to the world's original state and from this I could conclude the in a natural state, we are perhaps perfect.
So many question. Should one see themselves as a single individual or as part of a collective whole? Are we truly to care more about ourselves or one another? Is there a line? Have we crossed it?

From all of this mismatched jumbled information and questions I must find a conclusion. And it seems I almost always feel as if we are one. I always feel that my personal life will suffer for the likes of others. I wish I could know where the nature of man really lies. I would forget everything else. I would be my natural self.
But this may never be revealed until the end of my time here.

So here I am. Sitting in a pool of doubt and faith.
Each are needed for a serving of grace.
But is grace by myself or grace from a god?
Is life for the one, a one, or the all?
At times like these, which is always,
I think of the sometimes occasions.
I think of how good everything seems
from a position of trouble.
I think of how wonderful I feel just to be alive.
Perhaps there is nothing more than this!
And in that I might feel a little death inside
but I wouldn't resist for things will go as meant.
Now I don't believe in destiny.
And I do believe in free will.
But even more upon that will.
I believe we build our own puzzle.
We start with a single decision
and build and build from there.
Where we are taken, we choose.
It just takes a person to sit back
in the sometimes and realize
that we are here because we chose this.

Whatever the answer is, I cannot help but wonder often.
I think I will remain satisfied alone, in the fact that I am alive.
Because even on the worst day, I still have had a better day.
I'm still breathing. I'm still thinking.
I'm still learning and growing.
I'm still evolving and adapting.
I am still one magnificent creature no matter how my day goes.
Because at the end of it all it was just a piece of the puzzle.
And stepping back to look at it, while blazed in the sometimes,
I realize how beautiful a puzzle this life really creates.
If there is nothing to know but everything to learn
that is enough for me. The world is full of magic and wonder.
I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I'm alive.
I'm glad we've met.

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