Wednesday, May 13, 2009

We Are Absolute

I believe growth in a person is defined by many aspects. This is true with most or perhaps all of life. Everything has so much to it; so much detail, so much circumstance, so much pom, so much this and so much that. It is difficult to come out with your hands clean. You'll always have some kind of trial and some kind of tribulation but alongside you will have a good number of victories and realizations and so on. Life is not about learning, for most of us live our lives without even doing much of it. Life is about experience.

And perhaps it is only in the circumstance of experience that their is true learning in life. And this is where the growth is defined. People who are said to be mature are said to be boring. I'm not sure that is true. Someone can be mature and interesting just as well as someone could be immature and uninteresting. It isn't a matter of maturity but rather a matter of understanding.

In fact, I believe all of life boils down to some kind of understanding. For what is maturity but understanding your responsibilities. Placing the blame not on others or circumstance but on your own choices. Maturity is figuring out and understanding that failure is an illusion. Failure is something that stops the weak. But the strong understand the illusion and they strive on, no matter how deep, and no matter how fast the current of the waters they tread.

People grow physically, mentally, emotionally, spirituality, and so on. I might never be very tall but I feel like I have done so much growing in the small amount of years I have existed. For quite sometime I have been immature and selfish. I have pointed the finger at circumstance and called it my problems. I have said that I was right knowing full well that I had no idea whether their was a honest to goodness right or wrong in the first place.

And to frank I have realized there are no wrongs and rights but what one decids for themselves. If you feel guilt for something you must ask yourself where the guilt comes from? If you feel responsible for something then you are. Whatever it is you are feeling is the truth to you.

Believe me when I say that nothing is more real than your thoughts or feelings about something. More often then not we are fooled by what others tell us. Often thinking their thoughts and feelings are our own. Soon we adopt them as our own. We construct a whole life around the thoughts and feelings of someone else, living completely unconscious, without any real thought or feeling of our own.

All of this is the opposite of maturity to me. Maturity is realizing within yourself all that you were, all that you are, and all that you can become. Maturity is understand yourself completely and being able to use it to interact, as you feel, properly with the rest of the universe.

When we are young are motivations are scattered and driven by several different outside forces. One parent says this, another that! Teachers proclaim this and our peers something else. Our lives can be an endless battle in which we must distinguish truth from fallacy. But if you look within yourself for the answers there will be no battle.

I am starting to realize that I have and have always had the answers for myself within myself. Sounds redundant! It is not about being more or less than others but being a part of a whole. You must forget what part of you is motivated by fear and you must remember, always, the part of you that is motivated by love.

Growth within a person should always be based in love. It is difficult or rather nearly impossible to grow in fear. It will leave you stranded and doing nothing but running circles, backtracking every step, looking for your mistake. And this is where I have been.

I have been stranded and forced to reflect on my misfortunes. It is within these troubling times that I have began to understand the most about myself. I have had time to reflect on nearly every move I've made in the most recent years of my life.

In retrospect I am and have always been a bit melancholy. I am never content for more than a two day period. My happiness fades to boredom very easily. I am sluggish at times. I have trouble finding motivation in the moments I need it most. But This has been because I have felt a true need for a connection between me and others.

And now as I write this I feel a sense of understanding growing, an understanding that says that the connection is their inherently. It exclaims that there is nothing I can say or do to stop it from being. It has and always will be. The connection I have felt such a deep longing for has always been their I was just looking in the wrong place.

Upon realizing this I feel content. And I don't believe this contentment will fade for I know it is based upon a truth I can hold eternally. I do not need to seek happiness elsewhere. For it is by mere existence that I begin to understand my purpose.

I believe understanding my purpose whether it is collective or subjective is perhaps the true keeper of my happiness. My life has been a world wind of ups and downs and in and outs. but who on this earth could say they have lived a completely easy existence. One does not grow but through trial. Our life is perhaps just a game of trial and error.

What we do not go back and fix we are doomed to repeat. But we must first figure out why it is we need to fix that particular thing. What causes us to feel it is broken? Where does it all come from? I believe a collective consciousness holds the answers to all our questions and more.

I believe more than anything that we are all one entity. We are all one energy floating in space. Living to remember what we truly are. We are spiritual. "We are spiritual beings having a human experience".

So growth for a human isn't completed in an instance but collectively over all of a lifetime. It is all of your life that is you. All the good and all the bad. Relativity is the greatest teacher of mankind. It allows to see, hear, taste, touch, an smell the differences between hot and cold and all other dualities. It is through the dyads of life that we make all decisions. But in the world of the absolute there is not hot or cold or diads. In the world of the absolute everything just is.

We are to realize that everything just is and be content in that. But a human feels the need to compare and contrast. But maturity shall occur within us eventually and we will understand the absolute. And we will remember we are the absolute.

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