Monday, February 9, 2009

Imaginery

When I stand with my arms outstretched as if I'm hugging the sky
I want to feel the brilliance of a thousand suns.
When I close my eyes and all I see is imaginary
I want to know that somewhere, somehow it exists
whether it be within me or beyond me.

When I capture a photograph of a moment as if it will be a memory later.
I want to hold a small part of everything inside a picture frame.
And to imagine that a world of houses, in changing shapes
but none too big and none too small is a place that I could live.
I could wake up nights in cold, cumbersome, sweats
Just to imagine that somewhere, somehow it exists
whether it be within me or beyond me.

I can translate any line, I can foster all hope
for a perfectly packaged past
like I'm traveling in time and trying to guess what's in the box
even though I know what's inside.
It's the same in the future as it is right now.
We think we learn. Perhaps we do.
But I think life is cyclical.
I think we go in circles hoping that somehow in all of our insanity
we will produce a different result.

Why else do we forget, why else do we forgive
if it is not to allow some leeway
if it is not to allow some changes
but they rarely happen
I want to imagine them
I want to think of them on stark cold nights like this
where I lye awake and alone
where I hope as tears fall that something different will succeed
within me or beyond me

but by each morning a fear of familiarity is realized.
There is nothing but a stream of stagnate consciousness
flowing as my mind floats through it.
And as I stand inside these waters
mucky, murky and misleading
there is nothing to reflect on for my reflection isn't visible
While I wish I could see who I truly am
there is nothing to look upon.

If I could break ever mirror, if I could sink ever ship
I would do my very best.
And you know this.
But as for water and as for change
my mind remains the same.
I'm insane.
I've broken myself more and more
by doing too much or too little
by hoping and giving up
by settling and leaving
by
thinking that somehow in all of my insanity

I will produce a different result
and as for the past and as for the present
it is the same for the future.
My darling, listen, whomever you may be.
By now you know completely
everything within me

And
when I stand with my arms outstretched as if I'm hugging the sky
I want to feel the brilliance of a thousand suns.
When I close my eyes and all I see is imaginary
I want to know that somewhere, somehow it exists
whether it be within me or beyond me.

Because while all that is remains the same
my deepest hope is that the world I dream is reality
a new demonstration I've yet to reach.
And while I'm bold in my meandering thoughts
I could never really participate within this.
For I fear the world, alone, as it is.




LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR
absolutely astounding.

reminds me of "it's all just meaningless! a chasing after the wind!"

Posted by LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR on February 11, 2009

Wednesday - 8:58 PM

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